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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29129814">Hold my head high (Or I'll choke)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScorpionMauve/pseuds/ScorpionMauve'>ScorpionMauve</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Past, present, future (They're all just a jump away) [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Royalty, And There Was Only One Horse, Attempted Murder, Boats and Ships, Escape, Family Issues, Fighting, Getting Together, Horseback Riding, M/M, Pining</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:27:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,671</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29129814</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScorpionMauve/pseuds/ScorpionMauve</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In the forbidden city, no such thing as peace existed. Always rumours, intrigues, speculations bubbled in the court.<br/>The only thing more present than gossiping and fake smiles was assassination attempts between the princes in search for the title of Emperor.<br/>What they didn’t know was that their favoured target wanted nothing to do with reigning at all. Guanheng hated his status of third prince, and all it stood for.<br/>Only his guard could help him. Sicheng was always there, after all.<br/>~<br/>Individual work from the other piece in the series</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Wong Kun Hang | Hendery</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Past, present, future (They're all just a jump away) [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2112564</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Phoenix’s cage</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>No need to have read the first part of the series, this is the story of background characters.<br/>My friend Rina drew this universe's Guanheng and Sicheng, check out her art <a href="https://twitter.com/inqisn/status/1362165167019155462">here</a> !</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Long live his Majesty the Emperor.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The third prince of the empire always showed diligence and nothing less than perfect manners at all times. Courteous, well-spoken, handsome. He paid no mind to the tumultuous affairs of the court, and that might have been the only thing it found to reproach about him. He lacked ambition, cared not for the title of Emperor, which might very well end up being the reason he would eventually earn it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Emperor, his father, had already lost his first son to the ruthless battle that devolved among their growing number, when he decided to seal away the succession paper. It had to be opened upon his death, and only then would the heir to the throne be revealed and take his function. His third son died not long after the announcement, poisoned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Having lost the two most promising heirs, the court’s whispers diverged into different opinions as to who would earn the title. Some said it would be second prince Yukhei, the only son left birthed by the Empress. Others deemed him too interested in war strategy and battle, instead placing their bets on eldest prince Kun, son of the first noble consort. However, he was all too detached and knew nothing of the real world.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The last and most favoured of the three top picks was the third prince. He knew philosophy, but also the imperial kingdom, its neighbours and politics, and yet still carried himself well among people. His beauty rivaled that of the most favoured women and had made a considerable amount of people feel faint as he passed by. His only flaw was his passiveness in the vain fight for the title of heir, despite how much his mother tried to push him towards it from the privacy of her chambers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mother, the first imperial noble consort, the Emperor’s favourite beside the Empress, had given birth to four of his children. First, twin girls, fifth princess Yixing and sixth princess Jiashan. The former had been married to a duke and now lived away from the imperial city, leaving the latter a bitter shell of who she had been before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Only a year and a half after the birth of her first daughters, the imperial noble consort birthed a third daughter who was unfortunately stillborn. Her third pregnancy was announced no less than two months after her previous delivery, and this time brought along a son. At birth, he was assigned the title of fifth prince Guanheng, but the passing of his brothers meant he rose to third prince.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In most of the court’s eyes, at nineteen years of age, he was the fittest to become the next Emperor. His absence of determination to earn it, in other words his modesty could be forgiven since it would only serve him well in listening to what the people needed, compared to his brothers who only pushed for the title. The princes younger than him had little support in the court, either not possessing the abilities needed or simply born to a consort of a rank way too low to ever take the throne. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Only, there was a small hitch in this perfect plan. Guanheng had no interest in being the Emperor at all. What they called humility was only lack of interest, even more so, apathy. He dreaded every day, as it meant the Emperor came closer to his end. He hated everything about his life and wished for nothing more than to leave the palace and the court entirely. Not simply be enfeoffed with some duchy, but live in a place where no one knew him, where titles didn’t exist. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng couldn’t bear the pressure stacking up on his shoulders, from the Emperor who held him in high regards, from his mother who had raised him for this purpose his entire life, from the court constantly observing his every move to look for something to make an intrigue out of, from his sister who hated him as if he had been responsible for their sister leaving.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This loathing, only one person had ever heard of it, the sole person who brought him relief in this dreadful life. Sicheng, imperial guard who had been entirely entrusted with his safety, as each imperial prince and princess had. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had grown up in the streets of the capital as a beggar for a few years, before a childless craftsman took him under his wing. A 7-year old Sicheng then learned how to read, and what the work of a carpenter was. He never regarded the craftsman as a father, rather a mentor, but one who had cared for him and treated him well. Once old enough, Sicheng enrolled into the guard. His years of carpentry had left him precise and resilient, as well as robust and athletic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>From a guard in training, Sicheng soon rose to the rank of imperial guard, picked out specifically along with a few others by the chief of the forbidden city’s security. His abilities didn’t go unnoticed and, only a year after his entrance in the imperial court, he became the youngest guard ever appointed to an imperial prince, only a year older than the prince himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sicheng had saved Guanheng’s life on two occasions since they had come to be a pair. Once, he had been attacked during a late night where he just laid sleepless in bed. Someone had sneaked inside his chambers, a dagger firmly held in their hand. They didn’t make it a quarter of the way to the bed before Sicheng had them pinned down to the ground, overpowered and, when he caught sight of the weapon, permanently incapacitated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All the while Guanheng silently cried in his covers, not from fear but because he knew it had to be a mercenary paid by one of his brothers, a reminder that he was not wanted. They fought him to have something he didn’t even want.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The second attempt on his life, the third prince didn’t know whether it had been orchestrated or just a sad coincidence. The two of them were walking through the streets of Beijing, disguised beneath hoods and capes that made them look like any other merchant or traveler. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>However, no matter how nondescript they appeared, Guanheng still had found himself pulled back into unknown arms, a calloused hand keeping him from shouting out. He had flailed, but the sharp press of a blade against his back had quickly stopped him. Thankfully, Sicheng only took a few seconds to notice, even though he was walking ahead, and his hand found the handle of his liuyedao before he could even fully turn around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The long saber unsheathed in silence, nothing but a silver glint. Guanheng’s wide-open eyes met Sicheng’s cold stare for an instant before the guard sprung up into action. The prince blinked and missed the way he swiftly glided forward, striking the offender in the flank. Guanheng stumbled upon his sudden release, the other trying to run away as they decided he wasn’t worth it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The chain whip clinked as it wrapped around their legs, sending them sprawling to the ground. Sicheng stalked forward but Guanheng’s pull on the side of his cape stopped him. He saw the pleading look in the prince’s eyes and sighed with a nod, before placing a heavy foot on the person’s spine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If it were up to me, I would have killed you. However, my master is merciful. Don’t let me see your face ever again, I won’t be kind the second time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He watched them struggle to get out of the chain’s tight grip, liuyedao underneath his cape but still obviously present as he kept Guanheng in the corner of his vision. He picked the whip back up and kept staring until they left altogether before putting away his weapons. The pair began walking again, back to the forbidden city through the hidden passages.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should have let me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The prince had shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want you to kill for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And that was that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sicheng had, during his training, whether full-time at the start or intermittent with his duty later, learned how to use many weapons. He had a mastery in some of them, the ones he favoured. He paired the traditional liuyedao with a nine section chain whip, considered a much harder weapon to wield but incredibly rewarding to those who knew how to use it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>On top of the single-handed saber, he had mastered the miaodao, a longer narrow blade that took up two hands due to its weight. Though he had to admit it was elegant and powerful, he prefered lighter weapons that allowed more fluid and agile movement. His favourites, as well as Guanheng’s, were the deer horn knives. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They gave him so much free will and yet were still incredibly strong, the curved blades following his hands’ every move like they were extensions of himself. The prince always liked to watch him use them as it looked like an entrancing dance of death. Not to mention, the weapons on their own were already gorgeous, pairing them with Sicheng could only create a magnificent picture. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng’s days, as for any high-ranking son of the Emperor, dragged on long and tiring. He devoted his mornings to being taught by one of the palace’s many scholars, followed by a meal shared with the royal family. Afterwards, the afternoon devolved into social obligations, being called to so and so’s quarters. He then had an early evening meal with his mother and sister every day, light as he was always offered tea and pastries from everyone he had met prior. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The time past that meal had always been the prince’s favourite moment of the day. He had the night to himself, and Sicheng, and could do as he pleased. He usually spent about four hours studying and reading, until his growling stomach protested. It was then that he went to bathe and take care of his body. A warm filling meal always awaited him as soon as he got out. After eating, they sometimes went on a night stroll together, barely encountering anyone but servants due to it being midnight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If he couldn’t find the strength to walk, Guanheng simply rested in bed and they spoke. In the first months of being assigned as the prince’s guard, Sicheng was incredibly closed off and focused solely on his safety. However, Guanheng was nothing if not persistent, and he had incredible people skills when they were meant for seducing, whether the court or anyone else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With the guard, though, it was different. He had been trying to befriend him truly, not find someone else he would have to act in front of. For imperial princes, friendships were more valuable than gold, and trust appeared less often than eclipses. He didn’t quite know how to gain Sicheng’s. Eventually, the prince’s awkward charm and genuine kindness won over the guard like his faked interests did everyone else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone in the court was fake, the nobles visiting, the concubines, the princes and princesses. The Empress even more so, she terrified Guanheng. She had fought her way to the top of the harem. Her sons had been raised to her image, trained to be ready for the role of Emperor from birth. Rumor was the second prince had been the one to murder the past eldest princes, his own blood brothers, deeming himself a better fit than they had been.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Guanheng sat across from Yukhei, in his brother’s quarters during the social part of his day, nothing could make him feel safe. Not even Sicheng’s presence a few steps behind could suppress the shivers of fear the second prince’s predatory smile caused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You look better than you did yesterday, brother, I was worried you had gotten sick.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was easy to bypass the backhanded compliment, having been used to them all of his life. The Empress had mastered them, it was no surprise her expertise had transferred to her son.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I appreciate your care for my health, second prince. You should take caution as well, your studies would suffer if you were assigned to bed rest.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was a low blow, considering education was the one essential quality Yukhei lacked. Guanheng had no interest in the throne, but that didn’t mean he enjoyed idling by and letting himself be insulted. The second prince didn’t so much as twitch, but he hadn’t expected him to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then let us drink this tea, to our health.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yukhei had backed Guanheng into an uncomfortable position. He looked too happy with himself to not have done anything to his brother’s drink. However, if he refused to drink it, it would come as a great offense that the court would feast upon as soon as they learned so. His saving grace came in the form of a small palace servant who relayed a message to Sicheng’s ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Third prince, the Lord of ten thousand years would like to meet with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yukhei’s composure broke for an instant, a scowl fleeting across his face. Guanheng bowed before standing, long hair silkily draping over his shoulder before it glided back in place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I fear that I must leave you urgently, second prince, as His Radiant Highness is not to be kept waiting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His yellow robes swished quietly as he exited the room promptly. His footsteps didn’t produce any sound, light as they were. Sicheng followed, only a meter behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“May I ask what the Son of heaven wants of me ?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The prince asked the servant whose name he didn’t know, but recognized his face. He glanced left and right before turning into an adjoining hallway, one that didn’t lead outside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The Lord of ten thousand years never asked for you. The second prince was about to take your life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The servant only stared at the ground as Guanheng stopped in place, stunned. Sicheng matched his change of pace like he was the prince’s shadow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you fear what would happen to you if his Majesty the Emperor learned you usurped his word ?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The prince whispered, as to not be overheard in case anyone happened to be around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My life is not what I fear for. You are too good to be assassinated, third prince. If I am to be punished for saving you, then so be it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What stunned Guanheng the most was not the foolishness, the disrespect inflicted towards his father but the bravery and care behind the act. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s your name ?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He asked, but the servant shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do not wish to put you in a position where you could have to lie, should you be asked about me. Unless you do want me to be punished, in which case I am trying to survive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng looked back towards his guard, who stared at the nameless boy with an emotionless expression. The prince blinked before bowing deeply at the waist. His eyes locked on the ground, tips of his long hair tickling the corner of his vision but he could still imagine the surprise on the servant’s face from the small gasp he let out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you. I owe you my life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The prince couldn’t quite believe that someone would risk their life for him, a stranger not responsible for him at all, someone who wouldn’t be impacted at all by his death. He righted himself again, face steeled into a neutral expression.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come, Sicheng, imperial noble consort Huang is waiting for us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mother. She wasn’t really, only expecting the prince in maybe twenty minutes, but it wouldn’t hurt to go early. Therefore, together, Guanheng and Sicheng made their way two palaces over. The young maid at the consort’s door went in to inform her lady of the prince’s arrival, and he was allowed in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Inside the chambers, only princess Jiashan could be seen. Their mother would come back in a few minutes, she told Guanheng as he sat across from his sister. She only glared at Sicheng, who stood discreetly by the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Couldn’t you tell your dog to wait outside ?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The prince took a deep breath, keeping his expression poised and level.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suggest you speak more kindly, sixth princess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was technically no need for him to call her by her full title, given he ranked higher than her in the court, but he didn’t want to be reminded of their blood affiliation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The world only gives you back what you radiate.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Philosophy, so important for an Emperor, and Guanheng knew it really well. The princess didn’t, refused to do anything of her days apart from closing herself off in her chambers and eating with her mother. The only thing that stopped her lamenting were the rare letters coming from her twin who she missed so dearly. They sat in uncomfortable silence until the imperial noble consort joined them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Son, you join us quite early this day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng smiled a grin that he had rehearsed hundreds of thousands of times, crafted to feel genuine when it was entirely made up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I simply could not wait to meet you again, I had to hurry over.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mother huffed and murmured a few words in one of the maids’ ear before placing her attention back to her son.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you been working well ?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She asked, and like every day, Guanheng answered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have. My studies are coming along well, but there is simply so much to know in this world that I fear I’ll never be done with them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Consort Huang’s gaze sharpened at that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do not need to know everything there is, only what would serve you as Emperor.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng’s mother had always had high hopes for him, being her only son. She had always hungered for power, had almost become the Empress only to be beaten by another woman. She had been so close to it that she now only dreamed of the day where the third prince would become Emperor. Even though her rank wouldn’t get above the current Empress’s, she would still be regarded on the same level as her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The meal passed slowly, despite being quite short, and Guanheng soon excused himself. He took a brisk pace back to his chambers, where he settled at his desk and began working without uttering a word. It had to be past the middle of the night Sicheng eventually stopped him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Third prince, I believe it is time for you to eat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The food had cooled on the table, by then. At first, it looked like he hadn’t heard the guard’s words but as seconds passed by, it became obvious that Guanheng had frozen in place. Worried for his health, Sicheng approached the desk. However, the sound of his steps sent a strong flinch through the prince.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sicheng.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His voice sounded strained, like something in his throat blocked its way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, third prince.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guard prompted inquisitively when nothing came after a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I asked you something absurd, something… inconceivable. Would you do it ?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng didn’t turn around, terrified of the expression he would read on Sicheng’s face. His silence was already enough of an answer. He shouldn’t have asked, but it had been the only thing in his head for the past hour, if not more. He had tried to keep it in the back of his mind all evening, but the issue had eventually pushed back through. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please pardon the slowness of my response, prince. I would, of course. I would do anything you ask of me, no matter how foolish it is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The prince blinked and teardrops fell on the book he had been gazing at all evening. He hurried to soak up the liquid with his sleeve before it could smear the ink, before pushing it further back on the desk to protect it. He slowly turned in his chair, fingers shakily gripping the back of the seat. Guanheng looked up at Sicheng.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then take me away.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guard inhaled sharply as he stared in his prince’s wet eyes. Not even a trace of hesitance could be seen, only desperation and vulnerability. He looked ready to kowtow and beg mindlessly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Away from… the forbidden city ?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sicheng asked, voice soft. He just wanted to be sure, he needed to. Another pearl ran down Guanheng’s cheek as he nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Somewhere, somewhere I’ll be free. I can’t keep going like this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guard took a step closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would you be able to hold on for a few days ? I want to make sure the journey will be safe, but I would need some time. You know the Lord of ten thousand years would send after you if you disappeared and we would need to be far enough away before they even notice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hope bubbled in Guanheng’s chest and pushed more tears out of his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where would you like to go, prince ?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He choked on a sob and needed a moment to be able to answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You choose. Somewhere people don’t know the present Emperor above.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sicheng’s brain ran faster than horses galloping along straight and empty paths.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would need to leave you to make arrangements, or take you along with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng shook his head as he stood from his chair, knees trembling under his weight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My studies with scholar Li tomorrow. You can go then, no one would dare disturb us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The prince’s steps faltered and Sicheng reached out to hold him up before he could collapse against the cold stone floor. Guanheng all but melted at the feeling of the warm arms wrapped around his chest. The court didn’t allow much contact between people, especially from the royal family to anyone without a nobility title.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>However, the guard didn’t care, not this time. It was only the two of them in the room and his prince needed help. If that help had to come in the form of touch, then that was what he would give. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to wash up before eating ?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Guanheng had shook his head, he simply helped him to his bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can send for someone to heat it if you’d like.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sicheng offered as he brought the tray over, having slipped from behind the prince.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. I can’t bear for you to be away, at this moment. Please, stay close, Sicheng.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guard didn’t show how taken aback he was by the request. He knew Guanheng enjoyed the few fleeting moments where they would be near, but had never so openly, or even implicitly, asked for it. Nevertheless, Sicheng obeyed and settled by his side, arms and thighs pressed together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng ate, slowly. His fingers moved with difficulty, just like they did when he stayed outside for too long in the cold season. It took him some time to realise that Sicheng only watched him, nothing else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eat as well. Please. We both know there’s always too much food for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Usually, Sicheng would eat something brought earlier than Guanheng’s meal, when the prince was busy washing himself. Given there was only one entrance to the bathing room, the guard could still protect him despite not having him in his field of vision. This evening however, he hadn’t eaten anything either. He couldn’t in the prince’s presence. This time though, since it was a direct request, he would ignore it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They ate in silence, elbows bumping into each other’s due to their close proximity, but none made a move to separate. Eventually, Guanheng stopped eating and lifted his hands to tiredly fiddle with his hair. He couldn’t manage to remove the half of it that was tied in a knot on top of his head. At the frustrated grunt, Sicheng helped and pulled out the gold pin before gently tugging on the loop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The black strands unfurled easily and the guard even went as far as to smooth it down, straight and glossy blurring in the other half that had been down all day. Guanheng looked so different without the customary knot, Sicheng thought when he looked back at the prince’s face. He seemed so much younger. Frailer. Even more so with his eyes still red and puffy from earlier. His lips too, red as a ruby from how he had been biting on them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng’s eyelashes fluttered when he hesitantly turned them to Sicheng. The guard would be able to count them if he so tried, but he was more interested by how dark the irises were, so much so that they couldn’t be distinguished from the pupil. He could see himself in their reflection.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The prince reached up, hands shaky as they went by the side of Sicheng’s face. The fingers were gentle as they pulled out the pin from his guard’s hair. It was made of delicately carved ivory, and, unlike his, had no pendant. They were reserved for those of high enough rank. The locks fell softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>From an outside perspective, they probably looked nothing like what the court saw. Not well-ordered but disheveled, messy, unkempt, uncivilized. Human. Alive. Raw. Not polished, just themselves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng’s hand caressed along Sicheng’s cheek, touch hesitant and gentle. He looked like he had no awareness of his actions, simply following his instincts. His lips tingled when the pads of the fingers trailed over them. They felt like silk, unlike his own calloused palms, scarred knuckles. It was to be expected, after all. Princes never had to do a day of physical work whereas Sicheng had raised himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guard turned his head away, eyelids blinking several times to break out of the strange spell he had fallen under. The prince let out a soft noise to his left, but he ignored it, ignoring the pain in his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should get some rest now, third prince. It would do you good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sicheng slid off the bed, taking the empty tray with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose you’re right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The prince murmured as he moved to remove his yellow robes. Sicheng’s dark blue ones contrasted awfully with them. He should stop standing so close to Guanheng. The guard stared at the doors until he heard the sounds of the covers being pulled. Then, he walked across the room, pulling back the curtain that hid his own bed from view. He changed into his night clothes, hidden weapons safely stored in their spots well within his reach, before he laid down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sicheng always had to sleep with one eye open, as was his duty as guard. The doors on the opposite side of the room locked and the vulnerable sleeping prince both in view. As he waited for sleep to take him, he began devising a plan on how and where to take Guanheng away. He already knew who he would need to talk to. There was no time to be wasted, especially considering the attempt on his life made earlier. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guard estimated they had a few days in front of them, at most. He was proud and touched that his prince put such faith in him, it made his chest swell. However, in the back of his mind, a bitter voice spit at him that it wasn’t like Guanheng really had a choice. Sicheng knew he was the only person who he could be sure he could rely on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No real and unwavering support could be found anywhere else in the court. No family with his best interest in mind, no friends who he could lay out his concerns with. Guanheng sure lived a lonely life. The only one he had was Sicheng.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>However, the guard’s situation looked to be a distorted reflection of the prince’s life. Two sides of the same coin. One had riches and a blood family that only saw him for the potential he held. The other grew up alone in threadbare clothing. The prince working his mind rather than his body, the guard doing the opposite. In the end, they were both as alone. They only had each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sicheng had devoted his life to the third prince years back. He would honour his vow until his death, or his release voiced by the prince himself. Nothing else would keep him from continuing his duty. Protection and obedience, that was what Guanheng required of his guard. He couldn’t let his side of this relationship become anything else. That was not what guards did. Guards protected and obeyed. Sicheng had to get Guanheng away from the palace. And fast.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next day passed tensely, Guanheng struggling to keep his composure among other people. During the morning, without Sicheng, he could barely focus on what the scholar teaching him was saying. His notes looked sloppier than usual, though still very neat to anyone else. But to the prince, the slight shake, the accidental line, the messy tip, all glared up at him painfully obviously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If scholar Li noticed his perturbation, he said nothing of it. Sicheng slipped back in the room as the prince was putting away his brush and paper, capping the small bottle of ink. The guard bowed when the scholar passed him, the dark red silk of the latter’s robes brushing against Sicheng’s top knot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he straightened up, he saw Guanheng looking at him with insistent eyes and answered a sharp nod. The guard had managed to arrange their exit. When the prince walked by him, he murmured.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Evening of the day after tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng froze in place, head turned to the side the slightest bit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But the ceremony…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sicheng’s chest tightened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, third prince, but earlier would have been both too risky and too noticeable. I promise this is the best option.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng stayed quiet for a moment before he spoke again, feet beginning to move.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I trust you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The prince knew his guard was right, the ceremony in question couldn’t be missed, a big event that involved all of the court and nobility from all over the country. It honoured one of their many goddesses, Guanheng’s jumbled brain couldn’t remember which one exactly, but the gathering attracted many who wished to see the royal family. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The princesses played instruments and sang. The princes spared, even the children, though they would just have wooden spears instead of swords like the elders. Guanheng hated that ceremony, he had no interest in fighting. It was also the perfect moment for a murder. A fratricide. Even Sicheng wouldn’t be able to protect him if the one he would be fighting tried anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that worry prominent in his mind, Guanheng joined his family for the noon meal. His eyes slipped over his brothers’ faces, all along the terribly long tables. He wished to fall against one of the younger ones, the ones who weren’t fighting him for that forsaken title he didn’t yet have. He was absent all throughout the hour and a half the meal took, stretching out longer than before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The prince managed to pick himself back up for the afternoon meetings, as it would be much more obvious if he was acting strange when there wasn’t a crowd to distract from him. His sister sent him strange suspicious glances all throughout their shared evening meal, but Guanheng didn’t look back at her. He couldn’t leave his mother’s quarters quick enough. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as the prince arrived back in his chambers, he locked the door, turned towards his guard and fell to his knees, weakened by the day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need to tell me everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The words fell past his lips in a breath as Sicheng hurried forward to help him back up. He took Guanheng’s soft hand, trying not to focus on how delicate it looked compared to his, how much paler, smaller, smoother. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll leave just after you retire to your chambers for the evening. We’ll take horses and ride out during the night until we reach a river. There, we’ll meet the person who’ll take us to the end of our journey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The prince shook his head and stumbled back, away from Sicheng.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not everything, you’re obscuring so many things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guard dropped his eyes to the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Third prince, I do not wish to reveal everything in case something is spying on us. It is better for your safety to not know every detail of it. I promise I will tell you, but not until we leave.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A flash of something passed through Guanheng’s eyes before he turned away to walk to his desk. The silence made his message obvious. The tenseness of his shoulders betrayed his hurt. Sicheng’s shoulders dropped and he took his place by the door without a word. The safety of his prince came first, and if he had to be angry at Sicheng to be kept safe, then so be it.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Twitter : <a href="https://twitter.com/lacyjunnie">@lacyjunnie</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Dragon's dance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Pray to the gods for help.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Guanheng wanted to be infuriated, but the lack of trust his guard had in him only wounded him deeply. It felt like Sicheng had taken his knives and struck deep gashes across his chest without mercy. The person he trusted with his life, the one he confided in, the only ally he had in this cruel place didn’t return any of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The prince stared so hard at the wood of his desk it could have spontaneously caught fire. His hands had instinctively reached for one of his notebooks as he had sat down, but Guanheng couldn’t bring himself to open it. What use would it have to study politics again, the rulers of the nearby kingdoms and their court’s traditions, the tensions between the countries, and the interior conflicts. He would be leaving it all behind in two days. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>To go where, he didn’t know. Sicheng hadn’t told him, after all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng pushed away the books containing politics and replaced it with one on the subjects of science. It always interested the prince much more, but he didn’t have much knowledge on it. His eyes rested on the dark characters written on the paper and he fell into work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not hungry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The prince muttered under his breath when he exited the bathing room, long hair resting on his shoulders. His guard’s eyes snapped up to his face and Guanheng refused to cross his stare.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have barely eaten today, third prince. You picked at your food during both meals.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sicheng knew, of course he did. It was his duty to keep his eyes on the prince. Guanheng’s stomach twisted. Was it only because of his duty that Sicheng looked at him ? Did he feel responsible for the prince solely because the chief of palace security had assigned it as his role ? Could Guanheng be nothing but a professional position ?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The prince’s heart shattered in pieces for the second time that evening. There had to be only dust left of the organ, particles that only a breeze would blow away and scatter. Guanheng averted his gaze until he couldn’t even see the guard’s silhouette in the corner of his vision. Sicheng and his deep blue robes, Sicheng and his black hair pulled back in an immaculate knot, Sicheng and his dark brown eyes. He refused to see any of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am tired. I wish to sleep. You can have the food or send it back. It doesn’t matter to me as long as you are quiet and let me rest.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guard didn’t even gasp, or sigh. Nothing. He didn’t even breathe, it seemed. However, if the prince only just turned and looked at Sicheng, Guanheng would see the tremors agitating his hands, the guilt weighing him down. He wasn’t looking, though, so he saw nothing. Just like he had wanted only a moment prior.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Guanheng slid in his bed, it was awfully silent. The sheets felt cold where his skin met them. They wrapped around him like a cocoon that trapped him, a cage of which he couldn’t find the way out, a prison. A prison he had locked himself in. He sobbed softly, face buried into his shaky palms. The silence was still there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The following day started with only necessary words spoken between the prince and the guard. That wasn’t the sole difference, though, as the afternoon’s meetings were replaced by a moment during which the princes and princesses prepared the next day’s ceremony. A few hours of training.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng looked at the weapons on the stand and his gut churned. He had very little skill in combat, whether real or fake, and battle could be considered an area of expertise only on the theoretical strategy front. His body had never been trained for physical activity further than what was required for health. The only times he had ever held an arm were for that same ceremony, in the past.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As always, his choice fell on the wodao. The long sword was heavy, handle in both of his hands, but he could forgive the weight for its beauty. The blade extended far and curved lightly, sharp yet elegant, not quite unlike the prince himself. Perhaps that was the reason he felt drawn to it over any other. A perfectly crafted appearance, polished abilities that could kill, and yet a constant tiring weight that dragged down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yes, Guanheng was a wodao.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With slow movements, the prince moved the sword in slow strokes around him, as if painting a detailed landscape. His arms shook at the charge they had never been accustomed to. He could never bring himself to pick something lighter. Guanheng began making his body follow along with the movements and it became easier. He gradually picked up speed until the blade whistled as it cut through the air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t take long for him to become out of breath, pants loud as they echoed in the room. If it had been any other time, Guanheng would have looked over at Sicheng with the hope to see the spark of pride, of awe on his face. However, they were barely on speaking terms, never would he get a compliment in this situation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You did good, third prince.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The murmur almost went unheard, but Guanheng had incredibly sharp hearing. He looked up with wide eyes and Sicheng thought they looked somewhat like those of a doe. The guard nodded, as if to confirm that he had really said it. A pink flush coloured the prince’s cheeks due to the exercise already, but Sicheng would have sworn it darkened in that instant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If it were up to Sicheng, the prince would never have to fight, to even hold a weapon unless he was the one who wanted it. The guard would be the soldier between the two of them. Guanheng hated when he was responsible for someone else’s pain, he wouldn’t have the mental strength to deal actual damage to someone. If he did, it was likely it would haunt him for weeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sicheng would never forgive himself if his prince had to defend himself, and hate himself for it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The afternoon continued as a constant cycle of Guanheng practicing combat positions and breaks to catch his breath. The guard stood by the weapon stand, alert, and made sure the prince didn’t accidentally hurt himself with the long heavy blade. Eventually, Guanheng relinquished the sword and put it back in place carefully. His rather pale skin shone with perspiration that he soaked up into a piece of soft cloth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walked back to his room, as the closeness of the ceremony freed the prince from the mandatory close family meal. His stomach hurt from emptiness, the intense physical activity way more consuming than he had eaten for earlier. Guanheng felt almost dizzy, and bumped into Sicheng several times.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you alright ?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guard asked quietly, and only received a quiet grunt in answer. The prince’s face looked drained of all blood when they entered his chambers, and he stumbled across it to drop himself on his bed without grace. Sicheng fetched one of the palace’s servants, walking in front of the doors, and sent them off to get food from the kitchen promptly. He observed Guanheng with worry where he laid unmoving on his covers. Thankfully, the servant came back and he took their tray before closing the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Third prince, I have food for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng mumbled something that Sicheng couldn’t hear, face pressed against his bedsheets. He put down the tray next to the prince’s hand, which trembled when he grabbed it. With careful movements, he helped him turn on his back and sit against the pillows at the head of the bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng’s fingers weakly grasped at the pear and brought it up to his mouth so he could bite into the soft flesh of the fruit. His eyes closed, too heavy to keep them open as he continued eating. Juice ran down his fingers in small rivulets that he lapped up after reducing the pear to its core. Sicheng looked away from the pink tongue that peeked out and to the apple he was cutting into slices. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng found them on the plate through his lidded eyes and plunged the pale yellow flesh into the jar of honey. It crunched between his teeth, and the honey that dripped on his skin rendered it sticky. The apple went away slower than the pear, but it still wasn’t enough. The prince found no shame in dipping his fingers right into the jar to bring more of the golden liquid into his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked like he couldn’t get enough of it, desperate to the point of gripping it in his shaky hand and bringing it close to his mouth. The journey of his finger reduced, he went faster and the level of honey fell more quickly. It was so strange for Sicheng to see his prince, usually very dignified and pulled together, almost fit his face into the jar to reach the last of it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Guanheng finally stopped, pants made his chest grow and retract, face glossy with spit and honey, fingers coated by the same syrupy mix. Something stirred in Sicheng’s gut at his state, and the sight of the innocent tongue, visible in the prince’s open mouth, made him realise he had been staring, no blink disturbing his vision. Flustered by how much he was forgetting his position as guard, he moved to slide off the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Weak fingers left a tacky residue in their wake, where they wrapped around Sicheng’s wrist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t go again. I’m sorry for the way I acted yesterday, it was immature and petty. You’re only trying to keep me safe, not to hide things from me. I don’t want to go back to… being strangers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sicheng stayed in place, stunned, before turning back towards Guanheng. Hope swam in the unshed tears of his eyes, breath caught in his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re the prince and I shall serve you until you no longer see fit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He answered softly, and Guanheng shook his head, grip getting firmer around Sicheng’s arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not just my guard, Sicheng. You’re my friend, my best friend. You’re the only person I have.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The prince breathed out feebly, trying his best to make him understand. However fragile his voice was, Guanheng’s gaze made up for it, so intense that Sicheng felt like it was plunging into him and laying him bare of all that he had. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re also the only person I have, my prince. That’s why I can’t afford for you to get hurt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng’s lips parted in a quiet gasp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then stay close, you can make sure I’m safe if you’re next to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sicheng turned the rest of his body to face the prince.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perhaps you should bathe, third prince, to clean up from your training, and… the honey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guard glanced down at where their skins still met in an electrifying contact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Afterwards, I’ll be by your side.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The prince stared at him without a word, and Sicheng wondered if he had said something wrong. He was about to ask when Guanheng spoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t call me that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guard frowned in confusion. Third prince was what he had always called him. He couldn’t possibly use his name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said something, something else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It dawned on him then.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My prince ?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sicheng always called him that in his head, but he had never voiced it. Saying it a minute ago had been an accident, a slip-up caused by the strange emotion in his chest. However, Guanheng nodded as confirmation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then, my prince, will you bathe before I stay by your side ?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fingers gently liberated Sicheng’s arm as the prince moved to put his feet on the ground. His guard had his hands up and ready in case he wavered again, but the food had served its purpose. Guanheng walked to the bathing room and thanked Sicheng softly before he closed the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guard stood alone in the room, contemplating the best way to wipe the gooey residue off his wrist. He only noticed the intruder when came the sound of wood meeting wood. Sicheng swiftly unsheathed the liuyedao he kept hidden under a draped fold of his blue robes. The person’s eyes almost bulged out with fear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was the servant again, back with a more substantial meal as Sicheng had asked of them earlier. The guard sighed as he hid away his saber again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I advise you to knock on doors if your life matters to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The servant meeped out an apology, almost a squeak, and hurried back out. Sicheng felt even more paranoid than usual, with their escape planned only a day away. He stared at the food and examined it until Guanheng came back out, hair damp and dark, contrasting with his white sleep clothes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guard stayed seated against him as he ate. Sicheng thought to himself that the prince almost purred like a cat when he finished, sated and satisfied now that his stomach had stopped screaming at him. Guanheng seemed to think of something and perked up, standing again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eat, I’m just fetching something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sicheng watched him carefully as he began ingesting what the prince had left. His heart panged when he noticed that what he liked best out of the whole tray had barely been touched. Guanheng knew. He soon came back and sat by his side again, a soft wet cloth in his hand. The guard didn’t ask what it was for as he learned the answer only a moment later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng pushed up Sicheng’s sleeve and gently ran the plush fabric over his honeyed skin, removing the uncomfortable feeling. The guard’s heart thumped hard in his chest, so much so that he feared the prince could actually hear it pounding against his ribcage. Guanheng checked he had removed everything by running the tips of his fingers against Sicheng’s wrist, sending a small shiver through the guard. Goosebumps erupted over his skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The prince put down his cloth but kept running his fingers in circles over Sicheng’s wrist, before trailing over to the back of his hand. He traced along the old white scars littering the skin, the guard’s lip trapped between his teeth. Something fluttered in Sicheng’s stomach. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so brave, Sicheng.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng said quietly, and he looked like he wasn’t even quite aware of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish you could have lived an easier life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This one, he meant to say. Sicheng took in a shuddery breath when Guanheng flipped over his hand to caress his palm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t have met you without everything that I lived, my prince.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t bear the thought of someone else taking his place as the third prince’s guard, of someone else being by his side constantly, of-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sicheng ?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng’s voice sounded so soft in his ears. The guard hummed in response as he turned to look at his prince. He really looked pretty from up close.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would you…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng hesitated, gaze flickering around without stopping on Sicheng’s face. It flitted to his lips for a moment, before he brought his eyes up to meet the guard’s. They stared at each other for a long silent moment, but Sicheng couldn’t bring himself to speak up and break it. The prince shook his head lightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, nevermind. Can I read you poems ?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sicheng blinked, head pulling back in surprise before he nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You never have to ask me to do anything. I would love to listen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng smiled lightly and looked down at where he still held the guard’s hand. He placed his other one on top and let his short nails lightly scratch Sicheng’s calloused skin. When he said read, he really meant just reciting. He knew them by heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <span>Penglai imperial palace faces the southern hill, </span>
  <span>a golden stem to catch the dew is high up in the sky. Gazing west, the Queen Mother descends at the Jade Lake, from the east, Han pass is filled with purple vapour. Like shifting cloud, the pheasant tail screens of the palace open, bathed in sun of dragon scales, I know the holy face. Now I lie by this cold river, amazed the year's so late, how many times by the blue chains was I there in the morning court ?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The prince’s voice was so nice, so soothing. His tone fit the words perfectly well, as rehearsed. He had been taught the poems as a child, when he couldn’t yet learn politics. Guanheng had always loved poems.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here’s another I really... like as well. Light mist envelopes the dim moon and bright flowers, a perfect night to go to her darling's side. In stocking soles, she treads the fragrant steps, and carries in one hand her gold threaded shoes. They meet by the south side of the painted hall, and trembling fall into each other's arms. It's hard for me to creep out like a servant, to teach my darling the recklessness of love.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That one sent a shiver up Sicheng’s spine, not daring to look at the prince anymore and instead gluing his eyes to the doors. Guanheng took a moment, mouth dry, before starting his favourite poem. The emotion made his voice waver, unable to keep it stable any longer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The autumn air is clear, the autumn moon is bright. Fallen leaves gather and scatter, the jackdaw perches and starts anew. We think of each other- when will we meet ? This hour, this night, my feelings are hard.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng slowly laced their fingers together, bashful. He held his breath for a moment, afraid Sicheng would remove his hand, but it only tightened around his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was beautiful, my prince. Thank you for sharing them with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng felt his face heat up lightly and distracted himself with letting his free hand trail up Sicheng’s arm, under his sleeve. The biceps pulled taut under his fingers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re very strong, aren’t you ?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guard hummed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How else would I be able to protect you ?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng smiled to himself as he pulled his hand out of Sicheng’s sleeve and smoothed it over the clothing instead, over his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You must be very tense, you never really have a chance to relax when you’re looking over me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sicheng’s voice broke over the word when the prince’s touch reached his neck. He took a deep breath to steady himself and forced his head to not lean away and bare more of his skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t mind. Knowing you are safe is the only reward I need.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng’s fingers pressed into his trapezius and he couldn’t help the grunt that left his lips. The prince immediately pulled back his limb, feeling the way Sicheng’s fingers had clenched around his for a second.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That is because of me, isn’t it ? The stiffness. Please let me relieve you of it. Here, here-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng jumped into action, grabbing one of the pillows to drop it on the floor by the bed. Sicheng watched while silently lamenting the loss of the prince’s hand in his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sit. And pull your robes down. Please ?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guard blinked, taken aback by the request before slowly moving to follow it, exposing his shoulders and the top of his chest to the air. Guanheng settled on the edge of the bed, legs brushing Sicheng’s back. He had no idea what the prince was planning until he felt something chill and slick land on both of his shoulders, pressing down in a comforting way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sicheng groaned softly when Guanheng’s hands spread the oil over his skin before starting to draw shapes along it. The press of the fingers against his strained muscles hurt, but in a warm caring way. His forearms dropped on the pillow, too heavy to keep from sliding off his lap. His clothes slid down further, but he didn’t bother trying to cover up again, elated by the massage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The slick sounds caused by the oil between their skins came up to the guard’s ears, unbroken by any words. He was familiar with them, having heard it multiple times before, when, in the dark cloak of night, they awoke him as they came from Guanheng’s bed. Along with the wet squelches came pants of pleasure, muffled into a pillow or a hand. He didn’t know. He never saw.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sicheng wondered if Guanheng had ever realised he woke him up with his sounds, considering neither of them had ever spoken of it. The prince supposedly knew that his guard slept very lightly, roused by the slightest noise in the room as an instinct of protection. If Guanheng knew, he had never changed his habits.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The massage went on, tense knots smoothed out by the prince’s surprisingly skilled fingers. His trapezius melted at the warmth and insistent pressure until Guanheng deemed it satisfying. He trailed over to the shoulders as well, cupping the bulged muscles with an appreciative hum. Sicheng wasn’t quite sure how to handle this uncharacteristically bold prince.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does it feel okay ?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Came Guanheng’s voice from behind him, quiet over the sounds of the oil.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are doing great, my prince.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even without turning around, Sicheng could picture the pleased smile growing the prince’s face, or at least the smile he hoped his words had created. He wanted nothing more than for Guanheng to be happy and safe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a long time that neither of them kept track of, the prince stopped. His palms shone with oil, and so did Sicheng’s neck and shoulders. He reached for the cloth again, though it had dried a bit now, and gently removed what he could of the slick liquid from the guard’s skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t want to stain your robes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng said, and without the warmth of his hands and the brush of the fabric, the breeze caused by his movements made Sicheng shiver. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for being so considerate, my prince.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The guard turned on his knees to bow. He could feel the prince’s eyes resting heavy on his exposed chest and carefully slid his robes back over his shoulders. Guanheng wiped his hands, a shake of the head accompanying his movements.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suggest resting now, as you have a long day ahead of you tomorrow. I will prepare what we will take with us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The prince didn’t protest, knowing Sicheng was telling the truth. Even if their escape wasn’t planned for the following evening, the ceremony in itself always drained him completely. Fighting made him feel bad, both physically and mentally, and the mass of eyes constantly glued to him, even when not battling, meant he never had a moment to breathe. The crowd of hundreds of people suffocated him. The court suffocated him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng moved underneath the covers and laid his head down on one of his pillows, eyes closing by themselves. He could hear Sicheng move around the room which his back faced. His chest tightened with worry for the next day, every way it could wrong flashing bright and clear in his head. If something happened, if they got caught, the one to take the fall would be the guard. Sicheng would be punished with demotion, exile or maybe even death whereas Guanheng would likely just be imprisoned in a palace on his own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That would be the worst sentence that could be put upon the prince. Stuck in the forbidden city forever, without Sicheng by his side. He couldn’t afford to lose him. He would not let it happen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The prince eventually managed to fall into troubled sleep, plagued by nightmares he couldn’t remember upon waking. He rolled over to stare at Sicheng’s sleeping form in the darkness, barely able to decipher his silhouette. The reminder of the presence comforted him enough for darkness to take him again. He wasn’t on his own, he wouldn’t be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The closer to the ceremony they were, the tighter Guanheng’s stomach knotted. He already hated public events. He could barely eat at noon, alone with Sicheng in his room, as he felt nauseous. The guard, appearing steady and confident, was his only rock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just this, then you’re free, my prince.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He reminded Guanheng every so often. When it was time to head to Tianhedian square, the most open area of the forbidden city where the ceremony would be taking place, the guard stood at the door, hand on the handle. He looked over at the prince in his ceremonial clothes, black and yellow dragon-embroidered silk robes, hair gathered under his pendant hat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just at the end of the Lord of ten thousand years’ speech, we’ll leave the forbidden city. Our baggage is hidden in the secret passage we will take. Everyone will still be in the square, we’ll need to make our way across quickly but once we’re out…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng nodded jerkily. Now was the time to fight. He composed himself, straightening out his chin and pulling back his shoulders. Sicheng opened the door and they walked off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the square, people had gathered by order of importance, meaning the third prince was one of the last to arrive. He sat by his younger brother, the fourth prince, after the crowd facing him collectively bowed to him. Sicheng got to his place, behind Guanheng.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, Yukhei arrived, followed by Kun. Afterwards came the Empress, and finally the Emperor. The ceremony began. Guanheng knew how to look alert and focused on the words coming from the imperial couple, without really listening. He appeared fresh and present, but his mind floated so far away from the there and then.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually, the royal family’s performances began, alternating between princes’ fights and princesses’ music. The duelers were always picked at random, the only separation being made was for the children under ten who wouldn’t even make a show if they fought the older ones. Guanheng’s breathing stopped when the Empress’s fingers fluttered over the golden sticks that would decide their fate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She elegantly pulled out two and read off the numbers written on them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The fifth and seventh princes shall begin.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He exhaled softly as his two brothers stood and walked to the large empty area that separated the imperial family and the nobles who had come to watch the ceremony. They announced their weapons of choice, two servants bringing them over. The fight started.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were part of the second wave of the Emperor’s sons, somewhere around fourteen years old. In total, he had had fourteen sons, eleven of which still alive, and twelve daughters. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of the princes, five were born over a first period, and only three remained. The second wave had been a bit undefined at first, but when the prince born after Guanheng died from illness, it left a gap of a few years between him and his next brother. Four were left of them, up to the eighth prince. The remaining four princes made up the third wave, with the oldest of them having reached ten years old a few months ago. Rumours spoke of another few sons on their way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng didn’t really pay attention when princesses performed next, even though his sister was part of the trio. Sixth princess Jiashan played the guzheng with grace, and sadness filled her eyes. The prince remembered her and Yixing learning it together. The instrument likely only brought back painful memories of her twin, who hadn’t been able to come for this special occasion like she usually did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The thin shiny robs soon came back into play. The second prince, Yukhei, and the eighth prince were called. Poor boy, Guanheng pitied him. It was the first time he ever participated in the ceremony’s duels and he fell against the strongest of his brothers, twice his age, and his size. But still, behind all the pity, there was relief that it had been the eighth, and not the third prince called.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fight didn’t last long. Another round of music followed. The tension in Guanheng’s stomach came back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The first and third princes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stood and walked down the steps without even thinking about it. Kun positioned himself opposite him, a few metres away. His smile looked calm and detached.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will use a wodao.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng called out. The older prince waited for a moment before announcing his own weapon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will use the yanyuedao.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A shiver ran down Guanheng’s back but his large robes concealed it. It had never been Kun’s pick previously, as far as he remembered. A long pole with a massive curved blade at the end, definitely striking, both visually and physically. He discreetly wiped his sweating palms on the fabric of his clothes, disguising it as just rearranging the folds, before grasping the offered handle of his weapon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It felt heavy, as usual. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kun’s hands positioned themselves on the wooden pole, and the duel started.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only advantage of battling one of the older princes was that the fight felt like a dance, instead of strategy-lacking attacks. They twirled together in a wordless choreography, blades clashing together in metallic clangs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pendants on Kun’s hat, the same as his own, wobbled left and right, blurring his features. However, when Guanheng pulled with a close attack, the confidence in his smile glared back obviously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know what you’re planning, brother.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The third prince’s blood froze in his veins and stepped back, barely parrying a hit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am glad to know you’re aware that you’re not fit for the role.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng’s eyes shifted around anxiously, fleeting over to his guard’s face for a second.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what you mean, eldest prince.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kun rolled his eyes as he swooped in again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everyone thinks my head is up in the clouds, but I see things, doll, I hear things. I know everything. I should have had you punished for letting someone use the Son of heaven’s words go undisciplined, but something told me I shouldn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Guanheng’s mouth dried out. He felt faint.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was right. You should leave, never to come back. The second prince will be blamed for your disappearance, and I will have no more competition.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kun’s smile faded and a sharp glint overtook his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Either you left or I killed you. We both know I will do great things, doll, make the right choice. If you’re still here by tomorrow…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He trailed off before stepping back. The fight was called to stop and Guanheng let the point of his sword rest against the ground until it was taken from his hands. They bowed to each other before walking back up to their seats. The third prince tipped his head to the side slightly to readjust the position of his hat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sicheng noted the knowing stare the eldest prince glued on his face as he climbed up the steps. When the next set of princesses began, he bent forward at his prince’s wordless demand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He knows.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Came in his ear, breathy, so quiet Sicheng barely heard it at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’ll kill me if we stay.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Twitter : <a href="https://twitter.com/lacyjunnie">@lacyjunnie</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The Turtle’s blessing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The path to the world unrolls.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The guard tensed as he straightened up. No scenario could be found in his mind where they would stay any longer, but the additional threat only made it all the more necessary to leave. He stayed on high alert for the rest of the ceremony which seemed to drag on like a winter night. He didn’t even hear one word of the Emperor’s closing speech, but once everyone stood and began melding together, Sicheng guided his prince out of the square.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As they walked quickly to the passageway they would be using, they didn’t run into anyone. Everyone was supposed to be at the ceremony, after all. However, Guanheng caught sight of fluttering white robes at the corner of a nearby building and froze.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Prince, we need to go.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sicheng obstinately whispered, but Guanheng shook his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sicheng, that servant, if Kun knows, he’s in danger too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The guard’s eyes followed the silhouette.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We don’t have time, my prince.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Guanheng bit his lip and turned, running after the servant. The guard groaned and went after him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, you-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The prince called out once he was close enough to not have to shout. The servant startled and turned around as Guanheng hurriedly approached.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re in danger, you need to leave the palace or you’ll be punished because of what you did for me. The eldest prince knows.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The boy’s almond eyes widened at the words.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I- I have nowhere to go.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sicheng glared at Guanheng insistently, jaw tightly clenched.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then come with us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The servant’s eyes almost bulged out of his head as Sicheng shook his head. Guanheng continued, almost begging.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please, I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you because of me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My prince-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Guanheng shook his head, looking over at the guard with fire unlike anything he had ever seen in his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, Sicheng. You know it, I can’t just sit back and let it happen.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They stared at one another silently until Sicheng averted his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Will you come with us ?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The servant nodded hesitantly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What I packed isn’t enough though, we’ll need money.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sicheng realized belatedly, and Guanheng straightened up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have money. You’re allowed to leave through servant passageways, right ?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The boy confirmed with another quiet nod.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then go to my chambers and take the jade box underneath the mattress. Where… are we going next, Sicheng ?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The small square next to the theatre, east of the forbidden city. Meet us there. Quickly. And be discreet.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The guard completed before throwing caution to the wind and grabbing Guanheng’s elbow to corral him back to their exit. They had no time to waste. The prince didn’t fight it but looked over his shoulder for a long moment, until the white robes disappeared. They slipped into the passageway and descended the stairs, reaching a tunnel. The light that filtered through from the cracks barely enough to see anything, Sicheng pulled out bags from an alcove in the wall.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Put your robes and hat in here, we’ll get rid of them when we’re away from Beijing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Underneath the ceremonial clothes, Guanheng had earlier put on grey and blue linen clothing that Sicheng had given him. He stuffed the silk into one of the bags as the guard wrapped their usual brown cloaks around his shoulders, before doing the same with his own.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Slide your arms into those straps here, under the cloak.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sicheng instructed Guanheng, securing the bag against his back. They began walking along the tunnel, dark and humid as it passed underneath the palace moat. The prince’s heart was beating fast. After all these years dreaming about it, he was finally leaving the forbidden city for good. His stomach fluttered with anticipation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sicheng…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He started, voice hesitant.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, my prince ?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Guanheng didn’t speak again, mind heading in every direction in an overwhelming fashion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My prince ?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He jumped lightly at the words, startled out of the thoughts that overtook his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry. I was just, um… I’m scared ?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn’t see the guard’s face due to the lack of light, and the fact they weren’t even facing each other, but he would like to imagine it softened.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m by your side, my prince, even when you recklessly run after servants to invite them on our escape. You might act irrationally but I’m with you to deal with everything that could or would result from it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Guanheng blinked, eyes stinging. He slipped his hand out of the cloak and reached back tentatively. He brushed against the fabric falling from Sicheng’s shoulders and found his arm through the opening. He felt how it tensed up underneath his touch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that you ? We’re in the dark, my prince, I can’t see anything.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, it is.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Guanheng stuttered back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wanted… Your hand ?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He said, almost like a question even though the guard had even less of an answer to it than him. However, only a second later, their palms met their fingers curled together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Now that you have had a taste, you don’t want to stop.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sicheng commented jokingly, but Guanheng knew it held truth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It feels nice. It’s comforting. I had never held someone’s hand before a few days ago.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They kept walking in silence for a moment, until the guard quietly broke it again as they reached the set of stairs that led to the exit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re free to take it anytime you want.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Guanheng was about to answer, but Sicheng spoke again with a more serious voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I want you to take this, just in case.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the soft light from up the staircase, the prince could see the short sheaths Sicheng held in his free hand. Guanheng regretted having to let go to attach them to his belt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are they ?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He asked softly as they began climbing up the stairs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just daggers. I’m praying you won’t need to use them, since it would mean I failed to protect you, but I can’t take the risk.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They pulled up their hoods and slipped outside into the streets of Beijing. The guard went on ahead, leading them to their meeting point with the servant at a brisk pace. Guanheng mourned the loss of Sicheng’s hand. The worry in the pit of his stomach grew.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The city outside of the palace wasn’t in any type of effervescence, as the festivities of the ceremony were reserved to the nobility. Sicheng said they probably celebrated it still, but only in the discretion of their own homes, so as to not get punished. They reached their destination and hid in shadows as they waited. The guard looked around in high alert while Guanheng worked to undo his top knot that was beginning to hurt from the weight the hood applied on it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There he is.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sicheng murmured after a few minutes, eyes glued to a figure that had just entered the square. The young boy looked around, lost, white sack hanging from his hand. The guard stepped out of the shadows slightly and stared right at him until their gazes met and he began hurrying over. Sicheng slid his bag off his shoulders and opened it for the servant to put the box inside.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry I took so long, it was tricky to navigate unnoticed.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The guard shook his head as he put the bag back in place, and Guanheng took the servant’s sack from his hand. It turned out to be only his outer robes that he had removed as a way to not stand out so much. The prince looked left and right before tearing the sleeves off rapidly. The boy only watched without a word. Guanheng turned to arrange the leftover large square of white fabric over the servant’s head as a makeshift hood.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We have to be careful.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The prince murmured before they began walking. They moved silently among the crowd, unsuspecting of their identities and their plans. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you know how to ride a horse ?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sicheng eventually asked the servant, who nodded. He didn’t speak again, so Guanheng did instead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do I get to know your name now ?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He asked softly, and the boy sent him a quick doubtful look. He answered after a few quiet seconds.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Zhou Zhennan.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>On the prince’s face grew a kind smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nice to meet you, Zhou Zhennan. I’m Guanheng.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sicheng shot him a glance over his shoulder, but the prince didn’t even see it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I- I know that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zhennan stuttered quietly. Guanheng wondered how old he was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then please use that. From now onto the rest of my life, I’m not-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He checked around to make sure no one stood close enough to hear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not a prince anymore. I don’t want to be.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zhennan’s eyes widened again and he nodded without an additional word. Guanheng turned to look ahead of himself. They kept walking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eventually, they arrived at the stable Sicheng had been leading them to. He went inside for a moment, though not without giving Guanheng a pointed look towards his hips. The prince had acute awareness of the daggers hanging from his belt, eyes shifting around anxiously, until the guard returned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Some minutes later, they found themselves in front of two horses, big, strong, beautiful. The guard softly pushed Guanheng next to the largest one, nodding for Zhennan to mount the other. Sicheng also made the servant take Guanheng’s bag, keeping the second one.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Get on, my prince. I’ll sit behind you and take the reins.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Guanheng shivered at the murmur in his ear before fitting his foot into the stirrup and throwing his leg over the horse’s croup. Only a moment after, Sicheng imitated his movements, and they found themselves pressed back to chest, the guard’s arms wrapped around him. Thankfully, the few centimetres he had on Guanheng allowed him to be able to see ahead of them without too much trouble.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sicheng pressed his calves against the horse’s flanks and they went on forward.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re going to be riding all night, we need to get to our destination by sunrise.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Guanheng shifted in place, trying as much as possible to not rub against Sicheng.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is it safe, in the dark ?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The guard hummed softly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Trust me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The prince did. Guanheng wrapped his arms around his chest as he didn’t know where else to put them that wouldn’t bother Sicheng. He glanced over at Zhennan, whose horse matched their pace only a few steps back, before sighing deeply. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This was it. Guanheng was free.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once out of the city grounds, they sent their horses into a gallop along the paved road, metal shoes clacking loudly. They retreated to a slower pace only when they diverged from the main road. The ride would be long. The sun fell past the horizon, behind them. The sky soon turned a deep blue speckled with white. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Guanheng’s whole body hurt, both from the first fight earlier and from riding for hours. The physical activity as well as the mental strain had depleted him from all energy, leaving him drained and hungry. He didn’t want to tell Sicheng though, to bother him with it since they didn’t have a lot of time to make it to their destination. Guanheng would be able to eat and sleep later, he could hold on for the night. Right ?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The moon hung high in the sky when Sicheng felt Guanheng lean back against him. He had been holding his own weight until now, but it seemed like he had given up. When they slowed down to a walk to let the horses rest a bit, the guard looked at his prince’s face discreetly. Guanheng’s eyes rested closed, breathing even, cheeks flushed, hair feathered over his nose.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sicheng tightened his elbows around Guanheng to make sure he wouldn’t be thrown around too much and woken up. Zhennan seemed to be holding up alright, following along without a protest. Knowing what life was like for the working class out there, the servant was likely already used to hunger and fatigue.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry you had to be involved in this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The guard said, voice rough from unuse and lack of water.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I involved myself when I chose to lie.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zhennan answered just as lowly, and that was it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The prince’s slumber went on, even when Sicheng brought their pace up to gallop again. The horse carrying them had a comfortable rocking movement, though, so it made sense that it didn’t affect Guanheng too much. It was the trot Sicheng looked out for, much more bumpy if the rider didn’t follow along with it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The guard navigated the roads rather easily, for someone who had never been on them. He had spent a long time examining maps to determine what the best path to take would be, and had learnt them by heart. They couldn’t afford to get lost, not so close to their goal. Sicheng couldn’t let Guanheng down, especially when he looked so relaxed for the first time in forever. Limp between the guard’s strong arms, he didn’t look princely at all, instead delicate and precious which was so much better. The moon alone illuminated his face, casting its pale caress over his face that was glowing brighter than the stars, at least in Sicheng’s eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sicheng thought back to what Guanheng had told Zhennan earlier, and a bitter feeling spread through his heart. If Guanheng no longer was a prince, then what would Sicheng call him instead of his prince ? He couldn’t possibly use his name, but calling him his friend would feel… wrong. Friend didn’t feel like the appropriate term for the bond they shared, so much more profound than that. It was a bond of desperation, a bond of pain, one of aching and longing. An incomparable bond of life and death.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sicheng’s heart hurt as it tightened. He held Guanheng closer, justifying it to himself with the explanation of keeping him warm, even though the air around them was a comfortable temperature and their clothes retained heat well. The sleeping man shifted to rest his head in the crook of the guard’s shoulder, forehead hooked against Sicheng’s neck to keep it from slipping. Could he hear Sicheng’s heartbeat ? Feel his chest bump with every contraction of it ?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sicheng shook his head and tried to focus on the road ahead of them again. He couldn’t afford to get distracted, not by how Guanheng’s long hair tickled his skin, not by how vulnerable he seemed, not by how his beauty captivated the guard. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The road ahead, only the road. He resented the lack of sleep that was starting to make him delirious. Surely that was the reason. In the back of his mind, he knew how resilient he was, a necessary quality for a guard. Sicheng stopped thinking about it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sky turned orange along the horizon, tinting the rest of it blue and the clouds pink like strokes of paint along paper. They followed along the riverbank, now almost at their destination. Zhennan looked ready to pass out, eyelids heavy, but still he kept on going, back surprisingly straight considering the weight of the bag he carried and the fact that he had been holding the position during the entire night. Sicheng couldn’t deny his robustness, for such a young looking kid.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They soon entered a waking town, few people in the streets apart from them, but they still got glances. Sicheng readjusted his and Guanheng’s hoods, Zhennan imitating the movement without having to be asked. They soon encountered a stable and stopped their panting companions. He felt bad for pushing the animals so far, but it needed to be done.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Go in and make them take the horses. I have to wake him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The guard instructed and Zhennan dismounted, the horse all too happy to finally rest to even move. Sicheng let go of the reins and hesitated before gently patting Guanheng’s arm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We have arrived.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Witnessing the sunrise couldn’t be compared to watching the prince wake, Sicheng thought. Guanheng’s eyelashes fluttered before opening fully and he lifted his head from the guard’s chest. Muscles likely stiff and hurting from the cramped position he had slept in, he shifted in place, which made his back rub lightly against Sicheng. He took in the buildings around them as the guard got off the horse, wavering at the sudden loss of support.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll have to walk just a few minutes from here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Guanheng looked somewhat confused still, but he slid to the floor as well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry for falling asleep on you like that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sicheng shook his head lightly in answer to the other man’s hoarse apology.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t be. I’m sorry I couldn’t provide you with a more comfortable situation.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zhennan exited the stable, followed by a woman with greying hair. She barely threw them a look, only sighing deeply at the state of the horses before grabbing their reins and leading them away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Follow me, we have a few minutes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Walking felt like burning alive, both deadly and exhilarating. After being stuck in the same stance for hours, everything hurt but Sicheng had craved moving. He forced his legs to step forward, one then the other, again and again, until they reached the river port. The docks didn’t hold many boats, but only one they needed, and the guard had his eyes firmly set on it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dong Sicheng.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked down at the woman sitting on the wooden pier, just next to the rope that tethered the boat to it. She stood as they approached, shorter than all of them but her confidence made her seem larger than life. Bright and awake, she smiled lightly as she detailed the trio.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You didn’t mention a third passenger ?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sicheng’s eyes flitted to Zhennan, who stared down, before coming back to her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Change of plans.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She hopped down on the boat’s deck, inviting them with a jerk of the head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s go.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sicheng stepped on first, offering his hand to help Guanheng on. Zhennan looked hesitant so the guard held out his hand again. He took it after a moment, wobbling when he stood on the boat that the woman was detaching.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m Junyi, welcome to my ship.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was a decent size, the large sail made of panels of fabric stretched between long sticks. They followed her into the cabin that held the rudder, a ladder leading down. The ship left the port and she began leading it down the river.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve grown up well, I see. I didn’t quite have the occasion to get a look at you the other day.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She told Sicheng with a smile as he got rid of his cloak. The rocking of the ship forced Zhennan to sit on the floor, legs too tired and unstable to support his weight.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can go sleep down there, you have to be beat if you’ve been riding all night long.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The boy nodded and crawled on his hands and knees to the opening, not trusting his legs to not throw him off balance again. He disappeared down the hole. Sicheng sat down on a chair in front of the table and Guanheng looked at him, eyes attracted by the movement</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You should sleep too, Sicheng.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shook his head and started looking through the bag on his lap.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eat.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sicheng grunted, sleep circling him like a predator, too tired to form sentences. He pulled out the food he had packed and pushed it to the other side of the table, only taking a small amount for himself. He downed it with water, Guanheng thinking that he looked quite wild. But then, he remembered the pain in his own stomach, and how Sicheng had to have endured it all night long.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eat.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sicheng repeated, eyes locked on Guanheng. He shuffled closer and sat on the second chair, chewing the food slower than the guard. When he was about halfway through, he pushed more towards Sicheng, noticing how he eyed it hungrily. SIcheng didn’t even hesitate like he would usually have done before taking it. Once they were both finished, Guanheng stared at the table for a moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry for being so impolite. It’s just that hunger- I remembered and it made me lose my mind.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sicheng apologized quietly, all too aware of Junyi just a few metres away, but Guanheng shook his head. Growing up in the streets, that wasn’t something easily forgotten.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please sleep, Sicheng.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The guard hesitated, gaze hazy, so Guanheng stood up and took his hand to guide him to the ladder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll be here, alright ?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He murmured, and Sicheng nodded before following Zhennan’s earlier path. Junyi shot a curious look at Guanheng over her shoulder when he closed the hay trapdoor over the guard.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aren’t you going to rest as well ?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shook his head lightly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I fell asleep on the horse somehow. I’m sore all over, but not tired.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She hummed and invited him to pull the chair closer to sit by her. Guanheng watched her steer for a moment until she spoke up again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, how did the clandestine passenger happen ?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Junyi asked with a light smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He risked his life to save mine. I couldn’t just let him be in danger because of something he did for me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The porcelain prince is merciful.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She answered appreciatively but Guanheng let out a rumble that he meant to keep in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m leaving to not be the prince anymore. I’m just Guanheng.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Junyi’s smile grew and she didn’t answer. He turned to look at the trees lining the river.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you know Sicheng before ? It seemed like you alluded to it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She nodded, letting go of the rudder to pull her hair back in a knot with a wooden hair pin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I did. He used to repair my ship back when he was just a boy, and I had barely started roaming the waters. I always went to the same carpenter’s, and one day he just wasn’t there anymore. His mentor told me he went into the guard. I wasn’t surprised, he was strong enough for it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She paused for a second.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mentally, I mean. Physically too, but the mental is usually the trouble with those who want to be guards. It’s very tough. I didn’t hear from him in years so I wasn’t expecting for him to come find me a few days ago.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Guanheng stared out at the rising sun, bearing the burn for the beauty of it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He seemed to know exactly where to find you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Guanheng lightly commented.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He did ? I am a woman of habit, after all, but I didn’t expect for him to remember so. I’m not often close to Beijing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sunlight made Junyi’s skin into copper and gold. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was a miracle for you to be there, it seems.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She acted out an over-exaggerated bow that made Guanheng laugh softly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Always glad to be of help.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She smiled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The wind blew on.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re in love with him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Junyi didn’t sound like she was asking a question, just making a comment. When Sicheng turned to look at her instead of at Guanheng, a little further on the deck with Zhennan, she also looked the part.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t know what you’re saying.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He grunted out, having woken up only a few hours ago, and she raised an unconvinced eyebrow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know love when I see it, Sicheng. I also know you used to have only one emotion, and that was anger. You found your persistence in it. Whatever you found in the palace, it changed you. I’ve only been with you for a couple hours and I can see it. I doubt that was the court, now, was it ?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The guard kept his stare level with Junyi’s but didn’t answer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, the court could have never been for you anyways. Way too vile and manipulative. It was him that you found.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sicheng’s eyes slid back to Guanheng, almost without noticing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m pretty sure it was the other way around…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He murmured softly as he watched him laugh, loud and carefree, head thrown back. When Guanheng’s eyes opened, they glanced over at Sicheng and, upon meeting his gaze, widened in surprise. He offered a timid smile and the guard returned a nod. Junyi sighed deeply.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Even so, he's a prince and I'm just…"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She smacked the railing her hand rested on lightly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Was a prince, and you're basically his confidant."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sicheng looked back out at the water underneath him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I guess…"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Junyi gently bumped her shoulder into Sicheng’s before turning around.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I’ll let you think about it, I need to get back to steering. Feel free to use anything on the ship, food or else. You’re paying me a fortune for this, it’s only fair.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She left him there, and he sat down on the deck, resting his head against the fence that kept him from falling into the river. It felt strange to have the prince- Guanheng out of his vision, but he could still hear his voice indistinctly. Sicheng closed his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Junyi’s ship went fast, good winds blessing their journey and blowing on their sail. They reached the mouth of the river not a full day after leaving the port close to Beijing. They made a stop in the city at the estuary to stock up on provisions to last until they would meet land again, in a few days, as Junyi hadn’t accounted for Zhennan’s presence. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Junyi and Zhennan went to the market together, leaving the two more recognisable ones on the ship. They were still not far enough from Beijing for Guanheng to not risk being identified, having quite a striking face. He and Sicheng sat together on the cushioned bench in the cabin, looking out at the ocean that spread to the horizon.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sicheng ?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hummed softly in acknowledgement, afraid to turn his head knowing how close to him Guanheng sat. Their arms and thighs touched. He seemed to hesitate for a moment before the words spilled out hurriedly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I release you from your service.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sicheng’s jaw fell open as his heart shattered. He slid off the bench and kneeled on the floor in front of Guanheng, head bowed down in respect.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you not want me anymore ?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He asked, voice quiet and broken. His arms hung limply from his shoulders, he could feel tears rise to his eyes. He hadn’t cried in years.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I do, I want you, but I just- I need to know if you do as well or if you’re only here because my protection was given to you as a duty. I want you to be by my side because you choose to, not because you were told to. I...”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Guanheng bit his lips, eyes closed as he took a deep shuddery breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re free to do what you want of your life, you can leave here, I didn’t want to wait until we were further away in case you-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hiccuped and covered his mouth, abruptly stopping the flow of his voice. His sobs filled the cabin and only grew when Sicheng didn’t answer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Guanheng abruptly stood, feet carrying him past Sicheng. However, the taller man whirled around and grabbed his hand as he was about to leave the cabin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Forgive my silence, I was just stunned. Stunned that you would think I would want to do anything of my life that isn’t staying by your side. If I have the freedom to choose how I spend the rest of my days, the only conceivable way is to follow you anywhere you go.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sicheng looked up and met Guanheng’s eyes staring right back at him, diamonds leaving wet trails along his skin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My life is yours not because I was told my duty was to protect you, but because I willingly gave it to you, Guanheng.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sicheng found himself pulled up by trembling hands curled into his clothes, stumbling on his feet. His arms instinctively wrapped around Guanheng when their bodies collided and they bumped into the wall. The boat rocked lightly. Guanheng’s limbs were tight around Sicheng’s chest, his face buried into it as well. Sicheng felt him shake against him with his cries and lifted a doubtful hand that he ended up planting on the back of Guanheng’s head, gently caressing his hair.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I hadn’t made it clear enough before, because it was always yours. The autumn air is clear, the autumn moon is bright ?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sicheng continued questioningly. Guanheng sobbed once more before separating himself and looking at his face with his glossy eyes. They looked so pretty. One of Guanheng’s hands slinked back to his side, but he raised it to trace Sicheng’s lips lightly. They tingled under the touch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Guanheng tilted his head the tiniest bit and his fingers were replaced by his mouth in a soft warm contact before pulling away. Sicheng’s hands moved up to cup his reddening cheeks, thumbs rubbing them gently as a smile bloomed on his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I may not be a prince anymore, but would you still call me your prince ? And my name. I like them both when you say it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sicheng nodded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Anything for you, my prince.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They stayed there, holding one another until Junyi and Zhennan came back. They didn’t need to do anything but stand there to satisfy the mutual yearning that had gone on for years. It felt nice to finally be able to touch without fear. Nice to finally be themselves.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Their journey went on along the coast, day after day after day. Guanheng still had no idea where they were going, but he didn’t care as the salty wind blew in his long hair. Sicheng had cut his own in messy strands that fell over his forehead. Well, Junyi had done it, since Sicheng was about to do it with one of his knives.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Guanheng had chosen to keep his own long, not because of the rules that the court had tried to ingrain into him forever, but because he simply liked how it looked with it. He had taken to braiding it, Junyi having taught him how to. Also, he couldn’t deny that he enjoyed the way Sicheng stared at him when he let the locks down to frame his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Guanheng didn’t know where life, and the boat, were taking him. All he knew was who would be by his side for it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That was enough.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
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        </blockquote></div></div>
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